Grief Side-Effects May Include Building Emotional Walls
It can be scary, really really scary, when you come to realize that the source of your deepest, most unimaginable pain you have ever felt is there because you loved someone so deeply and lost them. What is even scarier is that any deep love of anything you have can also be the source of deep pain and loss. It is in our human nature to avoid and protect ourselves from pain. But so often in our efforts to protect our hearts from ever feeling that way again our self-protective instincts kick in. We start building the protective bricks up around us until we have built a strong solid brick and mortar wall. This wall is sometimes built on the conscious, and sometimes unconscious, thoughts that “if grief is the price we pay for love, then maybe it’s not a price I am willing to pay” because it’s just too painful.
If this is something that has been part of your grief process, there is no judgment. We have never been really taught the proper tools to process deep pain and loss. If you are someone that has avoided love because it might be a source of not just a little pain, but a lot of pain, then it is no surprise that you may develop an instinct to avoid love. Avoidance is hopefully an indication of how problematic these walls can be. Yes, they do emotionally protect you from grief, but they also keep you from having connections, intimacy, hope and so many other wonderful experiences that make life so meaningful.
If you avoid getting close to people? Unresolved grief is usually at the root of fear about any new relationships.
So, what’s a griever to do?
Step 1: Acknowledge you no longer are going to accept living with the fear of being hurt again.
Step 2: Take responsibility for your healing, even if it’s only 1%.
Step 3: Reach out for help.
Are you ready to get started? Work with me and go through The Grief Recovery Method. It is a step-by-step process for recovering from loss. I will show you what to do each step of the way. Imagine thinking about someone who died, or an ex, without feeling brokenhearted. Imagine living and loving to the fullest. What would that be like for you?
Is it scary to try something new? Absolutely!
Can you do it anyway? Yes!
That is where courage comes in. This program has worked for hundreds of thousands of people, so there’s no reason that it won’t work for you too! Plus, it’s empowering to take responsibility for how you’ll move forward in life despite the brutal things that have caused you emotional pain. Walking through fear is a small price to pay for recovery. Recovery means getting your quality of life back. You will smile again, and you will find freedom from pain. People say that grief never ends, but this well-intentioned statement keeps people trapped in their pain. We know there is a better way. Take the courageous actions of The Grief Recovery Method and live your life to the fullest again.
