Losing A Pet Can Be Devastating

/0 Comments/in /by

So often pet owners suffer in silence because they have been met with unhelpful comments by well-meaning friends & family such as:

At least you can get another pet
He was only a dog/cat
Your pet’s in a better place

Until now there were very few resources on what to do when your pet died.  The problem with all those suggestions is they don’t deal with the real issue, which is emotional completion with the pet that died. This is important so that the loss doesn’t affect future relationships.

Losing your pet hurts, but people don’t normally talk about how they’re feeling because they’re afraid of being judged.

All grief is experienced at 100%.  Grief is grief no matter what the cause.

Remember you can also download our Guide to Pet Loss – https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/pet-loss-ebook or you can purchase for your friend / family member that is grieving our Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss – https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/books/grief-recovery-handbook-pet-loss

 

 

Lost Hopes Dreams & Expectations

/0 Comments/in /by

What could I have done differently, better, or more?
I wished I could have done or said (X).
Why couldn’t it have been me instead?
I had so many hopes, dreams & expectations about my relationship, what now?
How do I go on from here?

Losing a significant loved one to death, divorce or a romantic partnership breakup is very painful and we are often left with asking these questions. You probably had hopes, dreams and expectations about your relationship.  The most obvious is it would last forever. So many plans and dreams of things that you were going to do.  You might have expected to raise children together, travel the world together, or to always have someone by your side. Then all of a sudden those hopes and dreams are gone.

Loss hurts no matter how it happens. Don’t pretend you are okay if you aren’t. Our society taught us that the way to deal with grief is to be strong for others. What that means is you should hide your feelings. Being strong is being honest about your feelings.

The Key to Recovery is Action Not Time.  Get Started In Your Recovery.

The Grief Recovery Method can teach you new skills on how to cope with and process unmet hopes, dreams and expectations.

Tell the Truth

/0 Comments/in /by

Tell The Truth

Have you ever said “I’m fine” when nothing could be further from the truth and you were feeling terrible? Every time we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves. Our subconscious mind hears the lie and continues to bury the feelings generated by the initial event. When we lie and say we are fine, we tell our self/subconscious that a problem doesn’t exist, so it need not search out a solution.  The subconscious will take actions based on conscious commands. The effect of this allows the cause of the problem to go unattended and rebury itself. The next time it shows up we may not be able to recognize the cause or source of the attack.

A major key to recovery is to tell the truth about how you feel and to process every feeling in the moment you have it. It does not require any special skill to tell the emotional truth about what you are feeling. For example: “How are you?” … “I’m having a rough day, thanks for asking.”
www.JenniferGriefRecovery.com

Recovery is never about forgetting

/0 Comments/in /by

Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever!

Recovery is never about forgetting. It’s about taking action to deal with all of the “unfinished business” in a relationship. It involves taking an inventory of all of the positive (and less than positive) elements of that relationship and resolving those things you might have wished had been different, better, or more. Doing this will allow you to be able to enjoy fond memories, without regrets, and to plan for the future, rather than worrying and fearing about what it will bring. www.JenniferGriefRecovery.com

Is your job stressful?

/0 Comments/in /by

Are you in a high stress heightening job? A lot of times we do not even realize how work-related stress can trickle into our own life and affect us. I have Grief Recovery tools that can help you identify the root of what causes this. From there, by working together we can address and nurture allowing for proper and fruitful growth!

“Stress” is another word for “Grief.”

What is grief?   It’s the result of the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior. More simply stated, it is the normal and natural reaction to any change that occurs in life.

Grief is a fact of life and people grieve not only death, but other factors as well. There are over 40 different life events that can create stress & grief.

Have you experienced any of these?  Chances are you may be experiencing a great amount of stress & grief as a result of the emotional and life changing effects from one or more of these events:

Death of a spouse, Divorce, Marital separation, Imprisonment, Death of a close family member, Personal injury or illness, Marriage, Dismissal from work, Marital reconciliation, Retirement, Change in health of family member, Pregnancy, Sexual difficulties, Gaining a new family member, Business readjustment, Change in financial state, Death of a close friend, Change to a different line of work, Change in frequency of arguments, Major mortgage, Foreclosure of mortgage or loan, Change in responsibilities at work, Child leaving home, Trouble with in-laws, Outstanding personal achievement, Spouse starts or stops work, Begin or end school, Change in living conditions, Revision of personal habits, Trouble with boss, Change in working hours or conditions, Change in residence, Change in schools, Change in recreation, Change in church activities, Change in social activities, Minor mortgage or loan, Change in sleeping habits, Change in number of family reunions, Change in eating habits, Vacation, Christmas, Minor violation of law.

The focus of The Grief Recovery Method is in moving beyond the emotional pain of loss. The Grief Recovery Method is a proven, step-by-step process for accomplishing this. It’s designed to help people deal not only with past and current issues regarding the stress of grief, but also to provide the tools to deal with future issues, as they develop. I hope you take a moment out of your day and reach out to me personally so we can begin this development process!

Grief yesteryear, today, tomorrow

/0 Comments/in /by

THE WORLD GRIEVED ON THIS DAY 9/11/2001

A day that left a lasting imprint on the world and humankind. Suddenly one morning the world lost its sense of safety. 9/11 caused immediate grief for the families and friends that were directly affected.  Even if you did not personally know someone that was tragically lost, or anyone that lost their life trying to save them, you still probably experienced a level of grief. We all experienced a loss of safety, a loss of trust, and more importantly, a loss of innocence.

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss, but our socialization and what we are taught is to shy away from grief and recovery, as if talking about them would somehow make things worse. As a result, we are shocked when we don’t know how to deal with our emotional reactions to loss events. We are all affected whether we knew someone or not.  The memories of those events can trigger in us feelings about our loved ones who are no longer here. Sometimes those reminders send us forward in fear for our own safety or that of our loved ones. The events that we see and hear about in the news affect us all. These fears are planted in our minds, which then affect our emotions. If we hear about them, they will affect us.

Loss is inevitable and the grief that must accompany it. Some events have direct and immediate impact on us and those in our family or communities.  Other events are reminders of losses from our pasts. Sometimes larger than life events in the news trigger our emotions for humankind. In all cases, we must learn to deal with our feelings as they occur. Loss is constant and we need more effective ideas and actions for dealing with grief.  Starting with acquiring more awareness about reaction to loss and what to do about it. The good news is that The Grief Recovery Method is an evidence based program. Research has shown that The Grief Recovery Method is effective. It is the only Grief Support Program that has received this notoriety.

I hope you feel urged and encouraged to reach out to me today to discuss more about this program. You can call me directly at 484-764-7094.

Grief and the next steps

/0 Comments/in /by

We all grieve, but without action there can be no change. If you’ve experienced the heartache of a break-up, the death of a friend, family member, or pet, a miscarriage, loss of trust, losing a job, a child leaving home, bankruptcy, retirement or any other loss, you have experienced grief. Grief is normal and natural but much of the advice, and what we learn, is not helpful when it comes to recovery.

Have you ever heard the myth that grief just takes time? We at The Grief Recovery Method have found in the 40+ years of helping grievers, time has not healed anyone’s broken heart. It is the action someone takes during a certain time frame that helps them recover.

Or have you heard or that you should keep busy? All that keeping busy does is distract grievers from their feelings. Keeping busy keeps people stuck in their pain.

So, what can you do?  Awareness is the first step. The Grief Recovery Method is an action-based program proven to work. I am here to help to make our community aware that grief is normal and natural and that The Grief Recovery Method heals broken hearts when someone is willing to do the work. Let us make sure grievers get the support they need. Share this with someone you know that may be needing support.  No one should grieve alone. www.JenniferGriefRecovery.com

Uncertainty, change, and the grief that follows.

/0 Comments/in /by

Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior.

How has your life and familiar patterns changed over the past months? Pandemic, Social Movements, and Weather patterns that have affected us all. All of this causes so much uncertainty about how our lives are, and could continue to change. When do things go back to normal? Or better yet, will they ever?

The thought of that is pretty scary right?

Not only are we adapting to changes in our community, but you may be facing the decision to have your young one(s) by your side learning how to adapt to school from home. This changes the pattern or possibility of getting back to your daily routine.  For some, that uncertainty about work schedules and who is going to be responsible for learning how to school their child(ren) from home, or if there is a split school schedule, home for a few days and then in school for a few days, creates an unknown factor. How do you coordinate all of those pieces?  The list goes on and on leaving some feeling like there is no end in sight. All of this fits the definition of Grief, as I mentioned in the very opening line.

So now that we know what Grief is, how can someone tell if they’re grieving? Here are a few questions to ask yourself.

  •             Are you having a hard time concentrating?
  •             Is it tough to fall or stay asleep?
  •             Are you eating more often or eating way less?
  •             Are you eating more sugar, dessert or snack foods?
  •             Do you lack energy?
  •             Are your emotions all over the place?
  •             Is it hard to stay in the moment?
  •             Do you go in one room to get something then forget why you went there?
  •             Do you feel isolated and are having a hard time adjusting?
  •             Are you arguing with your spouse?
  •             Are you trying to avoid your feelings by using Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors like drinking, binge watching TV or scrolling on social media for hours?

If you don’t know how to deal with your feelings, there is nothing wrong with you. You, just like myself and many others before you, were never taught how! No one sits you down when you’re ten years old to explain how to deal with the normal emotional pain you’ll experience in life. In fact, sometimes as a child your feelings get discounted. All we know is what we see other people in our society do, and much of what they do won’t help you recover from grief.

Now it is time to shine some light, the good news is there is hope. Grief, much like the majority of things in our life can be handled and dealt with. There is a solution, there is a way and hope. You and I will work closely together on an evidence based program that has proven to be effective. Join me and the countless before you on beginning a path to a new restored hope.

You can call me, email me, direct message me, or fill out a form on my website. Anyway that you feel most comfortable doing, I will respond back to you. I am waiting to hear from you.

Why is grief so hard?

/0 Comments/in /by

Why Grief Is So Hard

Most of us have no idea the overpowering feelings of grief until you experience it on a personal level. Many people have witnessed family and friends who were grieving and saw how upset they were and often wondered why after so long they were still grieving.  That’s because they had no concept of the emotional pain these people were experiencing.

Grief is a very individual and personal emotion. Much of this pain is a factor of the things we might have wished had been different, better, or more in that relationship. It is also impacted by the dreams and expectations of a future that is now going to be very different than we had expected.

Here are some reasons Why Grief Is So Challenging

Misinformation

We were never taught how to deal with the emotional pain of loss.  Most of us have spent a lifetime learning how to get things.  When it comes to dealing with loss, more often than not, the information that has been passed on to us is actually “misinformation.”

The misinformation does nothing to deal with that emotional pain. It is advice that speaks to our logic and intellect, but grief is emotional, rather than intellectual.  The things we learn at an early age are designed to make us “socially appropriate” and easier for others to accept.

Most of what we are taught we hear from our parents when we are dealing with emotionally painful events. These things that we hear become part of our belief system because they are so often repeated. They include such things as:

  • Don’t Feel Bad (Hearing this rarely makes you feel better!)
  • Replace The Loss (Often, with the loss of a pet or toy, this is the “solution” for dealing with our tears.)
  • Grieve Alone (“If you are going to cry, go to your room.”)
  • Grief Just takes Time (”The comment often made when we ask how long this will hurt. In truth, time just goes by and you become accustomed to feeling this emotional pain.)
  • Be Strong (Big boys and girls don’t cry! We are often told we need to be strong for others.)
  • Keep Busy (If you are busy, you won’t have time to feel sorry for yourself!)

None of these are helpful in helping us deal with the emotional pain that is grief.

Our friends and family tend to provide less support than we expect.

Unfortunately, most of them have had little or no education in how to deal with their own loss. That being the case, it is difficult for them to offer any more assistance than suggesting things similar to the misinformation above!

We can each grieve certain memories in an entirely different way. That is why things that may be grief issues for one family member may not seem meaningful on any level to another. Every relationship is different, even within the same family, which means that everyone’s grief is also different.

There is also a tendency from friends and family to avoid mentioning the name of someone who has died, because they feel that to do so will only upset you. Their avoidance can seem to you like they have forgotten your loss, which can hurt as well. With no one really having the proper tools to deal with the emotional pain of grief, it can feel like you are the only one in true pain.

Grief is cumulative!

When we experience a new loss, this tends to stir up all of the other grief issues that are still lingering from past losses. If you have not taken action to effectively move through and beyond previous grief experiences, they will stay with you no matter how hard you try to suppress those feelings. As a result, you end up not just dealing with the current loss, but past ones as well.

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any change you experience in life. You don’t need to be “fixed” to feel better. You simply need direction and education on how to “recover.” Fortunately, this is an area in which I can help you learn the proper tools to assist you in the recovery from the emotional pain of grief and loss. I do hope you take the time to reach out to me, I’m ready to begin this journey with you.

Do you have the correct equipment and coaching for grief?

/0 Comments/in /by

These days it seems as if grief is a hockey puck and we are the goalie. Do you have the right tools and equipment to stop the shots that are coming your way? Consider me a goalie coach that also once played the game and faced shots myself. I can help you, guide you, and direct you to ensure that you have the right equipment and knowledge to not only make that big save, but to “win the game” which ultimately is rediscovering yourself! For more, reach out today www.JenniferGriefRecovery.com – I would be glad to schedule a FREE 20 minute session.